The Yamas and Niyamas Part 11
Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.
Recently I have been reminded that I am constantly pushing myself to my max, like with everything I do. My expectations on myself are high and I put my every effort into everything. I am constantly pushing to do more or do better. I realized that I have been moving back into old habits of not taking care of myself before others and not listening to my body. Now for the past couple months I have been reminded physically that I have pushed past my edge and I need to step back, ease into it. Stop and feel. Just listen.
This brings me to an assignment from my yoga teacher training which was to reflect on the term “Playing the Edge”, which is from a text that is part of our required readings. The assignment was to answer this question “What does playing the edge mean to me?” This is a term that I could have benefitted hearing about sooner and is a skill that will not only serve us in our yoga practice but can be transferred into everything we do.
During the beginning of my challenges with chronic pain I would push myself to try and maintain a routine and strengthen my body. I would end up sore and tired, I would overdo it causing a flare up, one that could last weeks and even months. I was really discouraged and failed many times at maintaining anything because I was continuously set back with the discomfort. This process was extremely frustrating. It was not until I was at, what I call, rock bottom before I realized that I needed to start small, take baby steps. It was literally one step in front of the other just to make it though each day. I had no other choice and was basically forced into building a routine that comprised of activities that would better me. Better my body and my mind while reconnecting with my soul.
To rebuild my structure, find balance, build strength and resilience, to improve my psychological and physical health, I have been continuously finding and playing my edge. Slowly and patiently moving from edge to edge… I had to start to build new habits from nothing, one at a time, considerably basic habits. Then slowly add something else, one thing at a time, and then increase again. Little by little, day by day, year now over year I have been constantly working to rebuild and reconnect with myself. To become aware of and respect my edge.
This lesson has taught me to surrender. Not to surrender to the pain, give up, or to settle, but to surrender to all expectations I had of myself previously. To stop comparing my current state with the past or with what I desire for in the future. Stop telling myself that “I should be…” then punishing myself when I was not fulfilling those expectations. I surrendered to what my body was telling me, to stop working against what it obviously needed and give it what it was calling for. I surrendered to the truth that I am forever changing, evolving, and I will never be the same. A phrase that I heard recently that resonates here is “let your body be the teacher” – Catherine Justice. I had to stop trying to control everything and go with the flow. I started accepting and started trusting.
The last of the Niyamas is Ishvara Pranidhana, which in English translates to the “self surrender to God” as described in The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali by Sri Swami Satchidananda. The goal of yoga is not just union with others or ourselves but with Isvara, or God. The Supreme Spirit, the Universal Consciousness, the Higher Self. The meaning or image of God will be different for us all, dependent on our conditionings, and this image will also have different effects on us as individuals. When God is viewed as something bigger then ourselves, the one thing that is unchanged by the forever changing universe, the connection between us and all living things, and that of love, then we are surrendering ultimately to that source. Surrendering to God then means to connect with this greater source and then act with intentions from that source. It means when we look at the deepest part of us all there is a connection, we come from the same source, the same energy. What sets us apart is our experiences and our geographical whereabouts, these influence who be become and who we believe we are. But at the very core, we are all humans. And, beyond us humans there is so much more, more that is also connected to this core. When we can identify with this higher self within our own being then it can be seen in all. This is the root meaning of the saying Namaste “The light in me sees the light in you”.
I think of Ishvara Pranidhana as surrendering to the truth. To stop hiding from it, covering it up, and pushing it away. The more we chase other things, the more we grasp for our desires, the more pain and suffering we will notice in our lives. Instead of looking in the future for happiness, or in objects, or other people, we surrender to what is our truth and find our happiness within. Not only our own truth but again the truth in others. When we can see that shared consciousness, we can then relate and the dynamics of that connection change. When we can surrender to any thoughts and emotions, such as jealousy or comparison, the connection becomes authentic and pure. When we can separate ourselves from any attachment or expectation and act with the intent of compassion, wealth surrounds us.
During my surrender to the Higher Self, I have refined my practice of the Yamas and the Niyamas over and over. These are all steps that build up to this surrendering, each step involving a sort of surrender of its own. It is said that Ishvara Pranidhana comes with ease and naturally because it is something we have been practicing for all along. To adapt to this “new” me, I guess the true me, and this new lifestyle, surrender had to take place. Purification of the mind and body, detachment from old thoughts, habits, and desires, and the study of emotional and behavioral responses, and all without judgment. Each time there was a surrendering. Every emotion would show up, and at times felt painful. As it would unfold it was like a sort of grieving took place, and then there was a moment of truth revealed.
We can connect with the supreme consciousness through any of the different branches of yoga, the Yamas and Niyamas are only the first two limbs of the eight limbed path of Raga Yoga. And in The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Sri Swami Satchidananda says “To get to the point of complete dedication, many different routes are available: hundreds of paths, religions and philosophies, all with one ultimate goal.” All these concepts can be easily integrated into our daily routines, our lifestyle, our way of being given awareness and the knowledge. Sri Swami also explains the goal of Raja Yoga as “…to bring about a thorough metamorphosis of the individual who practices it sincerely – from an individual with likes and dislikes, pains and pleasures, successes and failures, to a sage of permanent peace, joy and selfless dedication to the entire creation.”.
Ishvara Pranidhana is a life long practice, and so is the practice of Yoga. “Playing the edge” is a lesson I am still living and I’m continuously learning how to refine this awareness. Also, these edges keep evolving as my practice develops, as I develop. This process has really helped me set boundaries for myself and acknowledge the growth that I have gained physically, emotionally, and mentally. Yoga for me began as a journey of relief, a journey of finding any hope that things will get better, a step to recovery. What it has become is a journey I never expected, it has become a new chapter in my life. A journey to healing my body and to move towards optimal health, strength, and endurance of the body, mind, and soul. It has manifested into a journey of self discovery and of new possibilities. And, now I am dedicating myself to share these teachings with all.
Well that concludes this series and what a journey I’ve had here with you. We have barely scratched the surface on the Yamas and Niyamas, never mind the philosophy of Yoga. I am so grateful that you joined me through this time and would love to hear your feedback. I have included a pole below so you can tell me what you would like to hear about next.
Until next time…
Namaste…
Your Discovery and Journey - Yoga Therapy & Wellness 
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