The Yamas and Niyamas Part 2

Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.

Welcome back, and welcome to Part 2 of my eleven-part entry series. Thank you for staying tuned to follow… well, my personal growth journey. As we review the Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga I will be sharing with you some thoughts and behaviours most of us are familiar with. I’m sure in some way you have experienced these yourself or have observed them in someone else. At no time am I here to bash or offend anyone, I am not pointing out faults or blame, and this is a place of no judgment. My intentions are to help anyone I can. Help open people’s awareness, awareness of themselves and their surroundings, and help give them a different perspective. Help them see their world from the outside. It might only take one word or one sentence. Sharing that one thought or experience could change a life, it could cause a shift in mentality. That’s all it took for me, with of course a lot of hard work, focus, blood, and tears. OK, so now it does not sound so easy, but the best things in life do not come easy “where there is no struggle, there is no strength” as Oprah coincidentally said in my meditation recording I listened to this morning. I’ve personally experienced this growth through my hardships. It is our experiences, challenges and unfortunately sometimes illness, pain, injury or loss that opens this reality for us. Without challenging ourselves to step outside our comfort zone, or face our fears, there can be no growth, no expansion. We may feel comfortable, but we’re not happy. We are constantly searching for something more. As you will learn through these entries, the values and principles I discuss go well beyond just being nice and learning to share.

Starting with the Yamas which in English translates to abstinences or regulations. Let us think of them as our ethics behind all actions in relation to how we interact with others, and how we treat all living things as well as ourselves. In The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali “These great vows are universal, not limited by class, place, time or circumstance.” They are to be the foundations of all existence and guide you down the path to serenity. The first of the five Yamas is called ahimsa, translating to non-violence meaning not to hurt or cause pain. This includes harm through physical, emotional or verbal means and applies to yourself, other human beings and animals. It means to respect all living things, be compassionate and exhibit love and kindness to all. I would say we can all agree this is an important moral.

For me I practice this daily and have for many years. Growing up I was always reminded of the golden rule, treat others how you want to be treated. Still to this day I am discovering new ways I can practice this more in different areas of my life. Kindness and compassion are qualities I have been developing more of over the past year or so, not that I wasn’t kind before but I’ve done unkind things, and I wasn’t always aware of how my actions affected others or myself. I would get impatient with someone taking too long to ring me through the cash register or frustrated when someone made a mistake that inconvenienced me. Whether it was my face expression or words, or even the tone of my voice and my thoughts, I have come to realize that these responses and reactions are hurtful and unfair, they come from a place of impatience and judgment. And, in the end where’s the progress? What did I gain? Isn’t it easier to just be patient and wait? Just be content with the circumstances your faced with and let it be. Now what have I gained? Calmness, peacefulness, happiness. When we react in a negative way like getting impatient, we get agitated or angry and it changes our mood, and in some cases can sit with us for hours or days. Like in Yoga the mind and body are one, they are connected, our thoughts and emotions affect our actions and our actions affect our thoughts and emotions, they send signals back and forth. So, we have no control over the situation, but we can control the outcome or the experience by choosing how we will react. This in turn affects our feelings and the feelings of those we interacted with through that encounter. There are numerous studies, which I won’t go into here, that shows the impact positive thoughts have on our body and brain and how this relates to our happiness.  

A recent time where I can recall recognizing my thoughts before they became actions and chose to react differently, was last summer when I took my camping trailer to a repair and maintenance shop for an inspection and tune up. The customer service representative that was helping me seemed to be knowledgeable, he checked me in quickly and sent me on my way. After several hours we spoke, and he did not have the answers to any of my questions. At first, I was confused, bewildered and wondered if he knew what he was doing. My initial feeling was frustration. But before I let that influence my actions, I noticed it and calmed myself quickly. Upon discussing it further I learnt that he was very new to the position. I started to show compassion and understanding, once I knew where he was coming from I understood him. He was kind and was interested in helping, so I changed my approach, I started asking different questions and asked him to find out from his team. In the end I got the answers I was looking for and we both learnt something new. What started to be a pour experience shifted to a positive one.

I still catch myself doing things that are unkind, for example the other evening I was already tucked into bed writing in my journal, my cat was sitting in the bathroom across from me meowing and pawing the mirror repeatedly. I had already caught her attention a couple times and she came over but would go back and do it again and again. Eventually I threw my pen within her vicinity, not with the intent to hit her, but to scare her away so she would stop meowing. As she ran, I felt instant guilt and thought to myself “that was so cruel”, my heart sunk. I imagined how she might feel and that made me sad. I put myself in her little body and mind, to her she does not know what my intentions were or even what the pen is, it was unfair of me to treat her this way. To some this might seem silly but really it is reality, like demeaning someone else’s worth for not being as big, smart, or experienced as you. Now there is two different outcomes based on how I choose to react. The cat’s well-being and behaviour is directly influenced by my next move.

It is through instances like this where I’ve gained clarity and understanding, and now my actions come naturally from a place of kindness. I have learnt how something as little as a smile, or saying hello to a stranger, can have a huge impact on not just a single moment or their day, but it can change a life. I have always been optimistic and look for the best in others, and even give second chances when I’ve been done wrong. I will go out of my way to help others and offer my assistance whenever I can. I recognize that as humans we are all the same deep within and are in search of the same things, love, peace and happiness. We are just raised under different conditions influenced by our surroundings growing up and in the present moment. We are the same just fighting different battles, or more like the same battle but alone.

Now as I mentioned before these acts of thoughtfulness, kindness and compassion apply to ourselves also. A way I’ve honored these for myself is by letting go of bad habits that do not serve my body or mind in a positive way. I made these changes because I was not well. I had chronic pain, extreme fatigue, and a weak immune system. I did not have a regular fitness routine and was stuck in a cycle of rushing through life while putting everything before myself. I neglected my body and my mind, and it had caught up with me, red flags where going off everywhere and I was in search of answers to my pain and illness. I felt like I hit rock bottom, I was drowning and could not catch my breath. This is when I left my career, everything I had worked towards up to that point in my life I had to let go of. I left on medical leave in search of answers to find a way to heal myself. I could not function and I was an emotional wreck.  I had to do something, I had to make a change as I was left with no choice. I had to stop and listen to what my body was telling me, find out what it needed, and help it recover. I have made many changes over the past three and half years to become stronger, healthier, more resilient, and to take my life back from chronic pain. I have educated myself on various possible contributors and possible ways to improving my body’s ability to function normally and at its best. In doing this I have completely cleaned up my diet and do not eat chemically preserved, processed, refined, or unnatural foods. I am conscious of how the meat I eat is sourced, choosing humanely raised and free range whenever possible and do my best to support sustainable practices. I make my meals from fresh, whole, clean ingredients. Anyone who knows me can agree that was not always the case. Aside from my diet, I quit smoking cigarettes which had been a habit for about half my life, and I reduced my exposure to as many toxins I thought may be contributing to my situation. I learnt to remove myself from unhealthy and negative environments. In doing so I have personally noticed the changes in my behavior, thoughts and physical sensations. When I treat my self well, I feel better, I have more energy and I am emotionally stronger.

Another common way of hurting ourselves is through our thoughts. Negative thoughts bring on negative actions and then negativity seems to grow around us, it attracts things or people alike. As I mentioned earlier, our mind and body are one and they directly impact each other. I used to tell myself I was not good enough or smart enough, I was in some way conditioned into thinking something was wrong with me and that I was unlikable. I’m not sure why I always thought this of myself, it is still something I am working through. These emotions became prominent during the time I went on medical leave, I felt like I had failed, like I could not handle the pressure or that I didn’t have what it took to succeed. When in reality everything was just blurry, I was confused, I could not process what was in front of me through the overpowering signals my body was sending me. Everything became so blurry I could not move forward anymore. I went through many emotional stages during this time, some very dark and negative, some with anger, and others with positivity and determination. It was like each stage was a lesson for me and I learnt something new and very valuable each time.

Through each of these lessons I had a realization which would open my awareness and allow me to grow and move forward. Some of these I will dive into more deeply in future entries, but when it comes to non-violence the lesson that is most relevant was facing my fears. Fears that had become so big in my subconscious that it would bring me to tears when associated activities where even mentioned. I caused a great deal of pain because of my fears, not only to myself but the people closest to me. As I started to reflect and explore this within, I would ask “why am I upset?”, “what am I scared of?” I started to identify the real cause and real reason I would react in the ways I did. I started to gain awareness and then was able to look back at the big picture from a different perspective, like looking into a snow globe. As awareness built, little by little I would explore this a bit more. I slowly begin to face my fears and from there built confidence. I can recognize right away if my actions are initially based on fear and talk myself through the process again, then move on. My world has opened in many new directions since I have learnt to let go and continue to build my awareness, I feel lighter and free.     

As I have illustrated here the yogic vow of ahimsa goes far beyond playing nice at the park, and on the other end of the spectrum it does not only apply to extremely violent scenarios. We can all find ways to remove violence from our own lives and improve the way we treat ourselves and others. Getting to know who we truly are and putting ourselves in the world of others, we begin to understand the circumstances that are shaping each situation, each new experience we encounter. Showing this understanding through true kindness and compassion connects us, we feel what other people feel and we become one.

Thanks again for joining me and showing your interest. I would love to hear from you so don’t feel shy to send me a message, I am always up for a meaningful conversation.

Until next time….