“To one established in non-stealing, all wealth comes.”

– Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Book II.37

Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.

Do you feel whole? What does it mean to be whole and how do we achieve wholeness? As we move into Part 5 of The Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga I’ll share with you what I’ve discovered wholeness is, what it feels like, and how I started to uncover it. To begin our journey of discovering wholeness we must start with finding happiness from within. This brings me to the next Yama, asteya which in English translates to non-stealing. At first this might seem like a straight-forward practice and something you have mastered years ago. However, as we build our awareness, we start to notice all the different subtle ways that we continue to steal, not only from others but most often from ourselves.

Asteya means to live a life that does not involve stealing whether conscious or sub-conscious. It can include the stealing of money, items of monetary value, or nonmaterial possessions. It applies to objects, time, experiences, feelings, and energy. To really identify and change our behaviour so we can honour this ethic, it is important to discover what truly brings about these kinds of behaviours to begin with. Stealing is often driven by desire, the desire for something to make us whole, to complete us, and out of greed for more, where more will fulfill us and make us happy. A profound realization we achieve through our self discovery, the discovery of our truth, is that when we are our true self, we recognize that we are already whole, and wealth comes from the contentment of being enough and having enough.

Desire is a feeling that we all experience. To address our desires, we need to first understand them.  Societal conditionings have trained us to search for happiness and fulfillment through the accumulation of materialistic goods, or having more, better, newer possessions; being stronger or more beautiful, smarter or more perfect. This constant message around us creates insecurities about who we are, the feeling of being incomplete, and the desire for something else, something more. We are constantly searching for happiness through external sources. We desire to have what others have that we do not. We see their life or circumstance as perfect compared to ours, when in reality we are only seeing what they show us, and they are not necessarily showing us their truth.  And when our beliefs are unclear through many conditionings, we see a clouded perception of them and our self. We do not see how their life really is or feel what they truly feel. Or, what they need in their life may differ from what you need in yours, and I need in mine. You may not even know what your needs are. We are our own unique self and when we try to be something we’re not, then we are not living our own truth. This will not lead us to ultimate happiness but route us in circles until we realize there is another path.

To  build your practice of asteya, or in a non yoga sense for personal growth and to work towards living the best version of yourself, it is vital to know and start by first recognizing that everything you need you already have. Have faith in yourself and know that you have the strength and power to stand alone, to provide and protect yourself, the strength to survive. Once this is recognized then the desire for more starts to dissipate, you become happy and grateful. This is when you start to feel truly blessed. Wealth is not only about money, identifying what wealth is for you will help you find your truth and gratitude for who you are and the things you already have. When we come to realize that we have the control and we find contentment in our present circumstances suddenly the need for more is nonexistent. Then instead of us competing, comparing, and being jealous of others, we can let go of our insecurities and instead unite. We can be happy for each other and empower each other, then celebrate together.

Now that you know what drives your desire and where a good place to start building your practice is, you may be asking how? “How do I discover my truth?” or “How do I become whole?” Anyone following this blog series has heard me already stress the benefits of meditation and finding stillness. This was the most valuable place to start in my discovery, as I’ve learnt that an unwatched mind is unclear, and creating awareness builds clarity. This is when your true self comes through. Stillness and meditation give my mind a moment to slow down and clear itself of the racing thoughts from the day, the troubles that arise, and it helps guide me in the right direction. It is a moment where my thoughts can be processed, understood, and then let go. I have discovered several new things about myself through this practice. I’ve started to understand why I act and behave in certain ways and who I truly am as an individual. Without finding stillness my mind would still be a chaotic mess, confused, and running in circles. Be still to discover yourself, the knowledge is within you, just stop and listen and your true self will shine.

An example of how I am working on improving my practice of asteya daily, and an area that I am trying to be more aware of, is not stealing other people’s moments or experiences. I notice myself interrupting people during a conversation, not intentionally, usually because what they say triggers an idea for me and I’m eager to share it before I forget it. In the moment it is awkward, and I feel bad for making the interruption. I also notice myself finishing other peoples words or sentences taking the thought or moment away from them. And, there have been times where I ruined an experience for someone either by telling them what to expect or what they should do or think, instead of letting them figure it out on their own or waiting until they ask for my opinion or guidance. Through building my awareness I have also come to realize that I am very particular and a bit of a perfectionist, there has been many times where instead of recognizing and congratulating someone for a success and celebrating the moment, I would analyze how they could have done better, completely devaluing their efforts. I probably do this to myself the most. This is a fault you could say I have recognized through building my awareness and through introspection. I kept asking myself “Why is this not good enough?” and reminding myself of a phrase I once heard, “progress over perfection”. I now focus on being fully present in the moment and giving my full attention to that moment or person, so that every moment possible is intentional and meaningful.

Now stealing doesn’t always mean you are taking something from someone else, you can also steal from yourself. As I’ve wrote before we often put others needs ahead of our own. Many of us are guilty of not giving ourselves enough love and care. We hold back from chasing our dreams because we “need” to take care of someone or something else. We are holding ourselves back from living our purpose, or in yoga our dharma, because we get stuck in a comfortable routine. A routine that isn’t necessarily healthy or good for us, or even makes us happy, but it is more comfortable than the unknown. We are stealing experiences by not pursing our calling and serving our dharma. Another example of stealing from ourselves is when we cling to past experiences, feelings and desires. When we are living in the past or the future, and are not fully present in the real moment, we are stealing time and opportunity from ourselves. Stealing our power, our potential, our experience of life.

Something I struggled with most of my life is feeling socially comfortable. I have always felt awkward, out of place, or unimportant. Growing up I was always labeled as being “the shy one” or “quite one”, I even believed that’s who I was. I often would not want to speak up because I didn’t want to take up anyone’s time, or I felt what I had to say was not worth saying, and I often did not feel heard. It took many years in the working world for me to build up my confidence and courage, my voice. Still to today I tend to be the quietest in the room. When we are labelled, we associate ourselves as being that specific thing all the time. Instead of being the “quiet one” I recognized that I am quiet sometimes or quieter than some other people, but it does not mean I am to be quiet all the time. As I recognized this, I was able to come out of my shell and started to feel like I had an opinion, something to share. And what a confidence boost this has been.  

Fear is also a very common barrier that clouds our minds and can have very damaging and lasting effects on our ability to function in normal day situations. Living in fear is living outside of the present moment and is untrue. Fear is either generated by the past, such as a previous experience, or the future by a belief that something is going to happen. When we are living in the present moment there is nothing to fear because we are moving with time. It is when we start to remember what happened in the past or start worrying about the future that we start to feel anxiety and fear presents itself. Fear holds us back from growing and experiencing, so once again we are stealing from ourselves and others when we let these fears control our lives. This is something that I face often, but once I started to become aware of my specific fears and how to overcome them, my world changed. What makes fear such a debilitating factor is that the longer we hold onto a fear the more anxiety builds around it. Even though it is made up of untrue or non-current events, a story builds in our minds and we start to believe it as true. This brings me back to the topic of how our thoughts impact what energy is drawn to us. Our mind does not know the difference between a real event and a perceived event or thought, by telling ourselves something continuously we begin to believe it and even live it.

The word yoga has many different translations and meanings, a common one is “to yoke” meaning to connect or unite, to become whole. As I continue to uncover my truth through the practice of yoga, I have never felt so whole. Although I am constantly faced with new challenges, as we all are, I’ve never felt this pure, like everything is so right. I feel as though I’ve been able to peel off hundreds of pounds that have built up over the years; I feel so light, so free. My mind is calm and quiet. Suddenly I have come to this new understanding and I have found contentment in all areas of myself, and my life. This is going to be our next topic so stay tuned for more on how to discover what this means for you.

As you can see there are many different ways we can stop robbing ourselves and each other from living a beautiful, fulfilling, and happy life. It is these thoughts and experiences, plus so many more, that have surfaced through my practice, and even though they may not all be positive ones, or easy to face, they have all helped me build my resilience and my knowledge. We must start by becoming the best version of ourselves so we can empower and positively influence others to do the same for themselves. 

Until next time…