The Yamas and Niyamas Part 6

Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.

The next and last of the five Yamas of Yoga is something we have all had to practice over the past few months, some of us who were unable to resist all the urges. Still today at the grocery store you will find half empty shelves from out of stock items because of the panic that set in, the panic to stock up on supplies during the early days of this pandemic. Also, during this time many of us have opened our hearts and have given to someone who was in more need, and we have offered our services for free to support each other. It is actions like this that brings us together as a whole and helps us rise. Because together we are stronger, together we can conquer whatever curve ball life throws at us. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a tragic or difficult event to occur before we see this reality. And I’ve come to learn this is the case with many of life’s lessons, because it isn’t until there is no other choice left before you must face the truth. Let us all take this opportunity to truly reflect on what the yamas and this pandemic have taught us up until now. Reflect on what is most important to you, reflect on what doesn’t matter anymore even if it may have been the biggest part of your day prior. Reflect and ask yourself “What can I let go of?” and “What do I have to let go of?”

This last yama is aparigraha, which in English translates to non-greed, or non-hoarding. It means to live a life without the desire to posses more than what is necessary or important in the present moment, and includes the attachment to objects, emotions, space, people, or even experiences. It means to exhibit generosity and selfless service for others and the world around us; to have no expectations or specific results from our actions or a desired outcome. And something many of us have or are currently battling is distinguishing how to let go of what no longer serves us in the present moment to make space for what does. Non-greed has similar influences as the last yama, asteya, which we learnt about in my previous entry Being Whole. They are both driven by desire. Since we’ve already been practicing self restraint through all the yamas, the ability to let go of our thoughts, feelings, experiences and possessions becomes that much easier. You may have already made some connections and you will see more as we move through this last yama and in upcoming entries where we will review the Niyamas. These values and principles are all interlaced and when practiced together frame complete happiness.

To practice this ethic in our life it is imperative that we now bring our awareness not only to our desires but also to what is holding us back. Is it fear, habits, relationships, past experiences, self destructive thoughts? What is it that is holding us here stagnant and spinning? Letting go applies to all areas of our life and it is important for growth and to make space for the new. This requires us to keep our perspective open and accept each moment as a new opportunity. Experience each moment as if it was the first. When we hold on to past experiences and are not present in the moment, we are unable to witness the potential of the new experience. If you expect the same result or label an event with an expectation, then this one-sided view distorts the truth and changes the outcome; similar to attracting like energies, negative or positive.  Each new moment is unique whether the context is similar, try experiencing it for what it is now, no comparison, no expectation. Let go of what was and discover what is, or what could be.

Past experiences hold us back because they create a feeling or impression, good or bad, creating a positive or negative association with that experience. The next time something similar arises, you remember that previous feeling and only if you’ve been practicing your awareness will you be able to notice it and catch yourself before you react. Some feelings can sit with us even after the moment has passed and into other moments of our day or through our entire life. In some cases, this can be positive and is harmless, but without awareness carrying around some of these emotions can also be harmful to ourselves and others, and even steal moments from us. Instead of it being just a feeling from one moment we can believe it to be the truth for all moments, distorting the truth. If we do not recognize it only as an emotion in the moment and don’t let go, then we can not be present in the now. This is an example of how we build layers of conditionings that interfere with us recognizing our truth and what is true around us.

An important way that I have been practicing letting go in my life is by building my awareness in respects to my barriers and recognizing things that no longer serve me. This has proven to be a long and difficult journey. I have brought awareness to my fears, past and current actions and thoughts, past experiences, and expectations of who I am, what I am capable of, or who I should be. I have force myself to let go of many of these and continue to discover more about who I truly am.  In this process I have reconnected with myself, my intentions, values and beliefs, and I’ve identified with my true self. I’ve noticed that my biggest barrier is fear. Fear is something that is developed from past experiences or an idea of what might happen. It is a perfect example of an emotion that can distort the current and hold us back from being free and experiencing the now for what it is.

Another big challenge for me and something I have to stay aware of daily in order to live a balanced life, is accepting what my body is capable of each day with no expectation. Part of my process of learning to live with chronic pain has been to forgive myself and forgive my body. I used to beat myself up over not being able to do certain tasks that would have never phased me before. Tasks that were so basic you wouldn’t even think of ever having to worry about doing. Things that are so often taken for granted. I felt defeated and useless. I kept comparing myself to what was, what used to be, what I used to be able to do. These expectations were holding me back and I was angry, upset and continually disappointed. I would push myself past my limits and then I would suffer for days, it would continue to set me back. It took me along time to let go of these expectations and ease up on myself. Now I take each day as it comes and stay grateful for what my body does let me do, and this can vary so much from day to day. Letting go of the past for what was or could have been and recognizing the now, has changed my perspective and my focus to being better than I was yesterday. I am rebuilding and that means starting slow and steady from the bottom. As long as I continue moving forward and give my best effort then there can be no regrets.

Another example of how we can practice this yama is by letting go of the need to have control. Control over outcomes, over people, over situations that we couldn’t possibly control anyway. Often, we can spend an abundance of our energy worrying about what might happen, what someone thinks of us or what they might say. Some of us engulf ourselves in the worry to perfect everything. We can become so fixated on controlling an experience that we completely miss it for what it is. We are not present and therefore don’t actually experience it. For me I can forget to have fun because I am either worried and fearful of what might happen or upset because things are not going how I imagined they would, or how they are “supposed” to play out. How can we be present and experience the now if our mind is distracted and racing with all this worry?

Collaboration is another way of practicing non-greed in our daily lives, the sayings “more minds are better than one” and “it takes a village to raise a child” all define this perfectly. By supporting each other and working together, celebrating each other’s successes, and sharing knowledge and wisdom we can help each other grow and become our best selves. What good is an abundance of knowledge if we don’t put it to work and share it with the world? Why are we hoarding this information for only ourselves? Why are we continually recreating the wheel? It is like a fruit tree, it does not grow fruit for its own use, it bears fruit for the world that surrounds it, it shares freely for the better of everyone. Now before we can be of service to our community and share our purpose with others, we must first be well established within ourselves. Some may say it is selfish to care for yourself, but you can not show up and be your best without a calm, content and aware mind. We are surrounded by judgement, comparison and competition and it is once we can filter through all this noise that we find ourselves and then we can guide others down this path.

What do you think of when you think of letting go? I think of being free, I feel lighter like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I feel like I could fly. It is crazy to think we have come this far already. We are halfway through this series and I’m not sure about you, but I have learnt so much. If you have an experience or realization you would like to share, please send me a message or comment below. What has been your favorite topic? What has resonated with you? Let me know and stay tuned as we will be diving into the five Niyamas next. These principles will all come together nicely now that we have be practicing our awareness and learning how to let go.

Until next time…

Namaste.

“If our minds are free from selfishness and there is sacrifice in everyone`s lives, the very world becomes a heaven, an abode of peace and bliss.”

– Sri Swami The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali Book I-15