The Yamas and Niyamas Part 9

“Practice makes perfect, so be careful what you practice.”

UNKNOWN

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Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.

Over past entries we have discussed several ways to improve ourselves and better our lives. It is one thing to know of them, to hear or read of them, but it is another to actually practice them.  To actually live them, to really feel and understand how they change what we do, how we do it, and how it is all unified into our way of living. Everyday we hear about ways we can better ourselves, or things that we should or shouldn’t do, and sure some of them are good for us and are true. But there is not just one thing that is going to change our world and it certainly is not going to be simple or necessarily easy. If you stick to any of these claims even just half of the time you would see results. What is important however, is how does it serve us, positively or negatively?

For us to strengthen and practice any of the yamas and niyamas, and even to just show up here again, we must exercise austerity to some degree. So far, we have learnt that each of these principles I have reviewed requires self-restraint to live out completely. That is physically, verbally, and mentally. We have already practiced physical austerities through purification, moderation, truthfulness, and compassion; verbal austerities through speech by practicing compassion and truthfulness; and mental austerity through non-stealing and non-greed. Which has helped us find wholeness and bring us to contentment. Our experiences of this all and how it impacts our lives depends on how hard we work and the effort we put in, to what degree of austerity in which we practice them. However, there are two key things to remember in the process, none of us are perfect and there needs to be balance for it all to be sustainable and non-harming. 

The third niyama is tapas which in English translates to “self-discipline”. It means to be self-disciplined in all our daily actions and choices. Its not about being strict and always having to go, go, go and get things done, but also to know when enough is enough, to set limits and to know when it is best to do or say nothing at all. It is about having the discipline and the awareness, the wisdom, to know when to withhold or step back. As our discipline strengthens so does the control of our actions, thoughts, and behaviours. The more tapa we have or practice the more resilient we become to resisting cravings and desires, and eventually we can reduce and even eliminate them. Desires are said to cause pain and suffering because we are constantly searching instead of living. We can also translate tapas as meaning “to burn”, by practicing self-discipline we “burn” out these impurities that hide our truth. Building more tapa in your life can be achieved by sticking to a  daily routine, practicing yoga daily or just moving your body in some way, by resisting foods that are not good for you or that are unnecessary, or just refraining from letting that road rage kick in on your drive home. Some of these may not seem to be a big deal and sound basic but little changes, step by step, will lead to big results.  These actions are usually focused on bettering ourselves and building on the things that are most important in our life, ultimately the things that are going to cultivate inner peace and happiness.

Before we can build our discipline we start with awareness. Awareness is needed to see when and where we can improve or change. When I talk about changing or bettering ourselves, I am referring to letting go of what is false or unauthentic in our actions and thoughts and getting in touch with our truth. If we are unaware and unable to identify actions that may be causing us harm or even harm to others, if we are unaware of what is true and when we are living our truth, or even unaware of that distinction, then how do we know where we need to strengthen, where we need to create balance. Awareness is always the starting point, something else we have also been expanding on over past entries. You may have already started to identify what is true to you and what you need to let go of. If so that’s amazing and wonderful changes will soon be witnessed in your life, so keep up the great work and let me know how it is going for you. One thing you will discover along the way is that all this will continue to change with time, whether it is no longer serving us or as we further uncover our truth, our focus and direction may change. As we build our awareness new things will come up. There is always something more to learn about ourselves or the world around us. Sometimes what we need to change is not an action that we are taking but rather a thought, or it may be the way we are treating someone else because of an action they are doing. Being able to identify this comes with lots of practice and discipline.

Now ask yourself “Where do I need to practice or strengthen my self discipline?”, “Where in my life am I not completely exercising the principles we discussed through the Yamas and the Niyamas?” There are many different stages of realization and as you enhance your awareness you will notice more subtle ways to practice and strengthen your self control. Whether it is trying to break a “bad” habit, start a new habit, or just motivate yourself to reach a new goal, what gets us there is sticking to it and pushing through. Finding what drives us from deep down inside to help us make it through the toughest moments, to remind us what our truth is when it gets hazy. What it comes down to is that anything worth having takes some work, a quote that comes to mind here that has changed my perspective is “If you just do the easy things, life becomes hard, and if you do the hard things life becomes easy.” – Jim Kwik. I want to acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage to put ourselves out there and face all those limiting beliefs, those fears, those what if’s, and all the other barriers, some which we may not have discovered yet. As they bare their faces take a few deep breaths and bring yourself back to your deeper meaning, your truth.

 The biggest thing I have had to face through building my self-discipline is identifying fears that I was creating and bringing awareness to my actions. I had to uncover the truth in why I would react in certain ways and why I would avoid certain activities. As my awareness kept building, I started to realize that I was the one holding myself back, I was the one that was giving up on myself. These fears had developed because I was holding onto past experiences. I was the one making excuses, I was the one not dedicating the time or effort, I was constantly letting myself down. I realized that either way, I have to put in a lot of work. I can either do nothing and suffer through pain and agony of the mind and body, I can do nothing and continue to be in discomfort watching my body disintegrate, getting worse and worse, weaker and weaker the more I would resist, the more I would try and protect myself from the pain. I realized I could either continue in this way or I could get my ass up, us my feet and legs, which were not broken, and move my body. I could use other parts of my body that did not hurt, and I started focusing on strengthening them. What I soon came to realize is that although it is a lot of work, tiring emotionally and physically, and it takes a lot of time and patience, I started to feel happier. Although I had to put in all this work it was easier than doing nothing, easier than the fight I was encountering with my mental health and with my doctors, easier than giving up.

If you give up every time something gets difficult or uncomfortable then when will you ever achieve those big dreams, or even the little ones. Dreams become reality, you start to live them, when you take the steps to work towards them. For myself, and I believe that many of us do this, we put in all our efforts to please others first, we put in a lot of work for others but when it comes to ourselves we give up. We tell ourselves “it’s too hard” or “I’m too tired”, “I don’t have the time” does any of this sound familiar? Earlier this year I made a pact, a pact that I was going to keep my word to myself and stop breaking my own promises. I decide that I was no longer going to exert myself to my max for others before myself. This may sound like greed but for me to empower, to teach, to support others, to help others become their best self, I must first be my best self. I could not expect others to do all these things that are said to make you happy, or that we know are great for us, if I could not maintain them myself. You need to see clear and be able to identify the truth, be able to bring yourself back to it when times get difficult or clouded before you teach others to do the same.

In this personal development training I attended at the beginning of this year I met Erin Skye Kelly, and one of her models is to categorize your habits and behaviours into four categories, this exercise has followed me until this day, and how Erin puts it is  “Do more #2’s so you can live a #1 life”, where  #1’s are things that are good for you and they feel good, and #2’s are things that are good for you but don’t necessarily feel good in the moment. Transformation happens when we challenge ourselves. Reality is you are in control, you are the one that must make the move and find a way, a way to make it work. We are so blessed to have endless resources and opportunities. Use these tools to build a plan, stick to it, and take small steps towards it. Eventually it will all get done if you keep working at it, how fast is up to you. When you create an idea, or a dream, anticipate bumps, setbacks, and doubts, just remember the deeper why. Tell yourself again and again, like an affirmation, “I am doing this because…” or give yourself some words of encouragement, “You’re almost there, keep pushing.” Our awareness serves us in this moment as what we are doing may bring discomfort in the beginning but happiness and ease later. When we can remind ourselves of this and push through those difficult moments, they become easier and easier.

For me, practicing tapas in my life has developed into this amazing plot twist. I have overcome many obstacles by sticking to what I know is important to me. I have created a morning and evening routine that consists of practices that purify my body, mind, and spirit, and bring me clarity and happiness. Along with this I have other non-negotiables that I aim to do everyday that will better me and help bring me closer to my goals. These non-negotiables are my promises to myself and they build my self integrity. In the earlier times of my pain management I noticed that I was always avoiding the hard things, my focus now is to face them straight on, little steps at a time.

Start practicing tapa by setting your own non-negotiables, identify what you can do to continually grow yourself and your practice. Self discipline is an aid to spiritual progress. Purifying the mind first makes it easy to control the senses. By skillfully mastering the mind we can re-frame our story.

Until next time…