The Yamas and Niyamas Part 3

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Update: Quick note to all. As I’ve learnt and grown, and with the new knowledge I’ve gained, I’ve come to understand that my pronunciation of some Sanskrit words in some of the voice recordings for my blog are incorrect. My dearest apologizes for this mistake. I appreciate your patience while I update my recordings to correct these errors.

Thanks for joining, I am so grateful that you have taken this time out of your day to be here reading this when you have the choice to be anywhere else doing anything else. If you are returning welcome back, please comment below and let me know your thoughts or send me a private message. If you are just joining in now, welcome to my YTT (Yoga Teacher Training) Discovery and Journey, where you will learn more about my story along with what has helped me survive the worst moments of my life and what has helped me choose the path to better myself, become my best self, and live my best life. You can find my preceding posts on my blog page which can be found in the menu at the top of this page in the right-hand corner of your screen. Again, I welcome comments and constructive feedback, let me know how these experiences resonate with you.

In part three of my eleven-part series on the Yamas and Niyamas of Yoga and what I discovered as the pillars that hold me tall and strong, I am going to discuss the second yama, satya, which in English translates to truthfulness.  This principle travels far beyond being honest and not crying wolf and digs deep down to living your inner truth and being truthful not only in your words but also your actions and intentions. It means to be authentically yourself in every moment and not try and be someone you’re not, whether intended or subconscious, whether trying to impress someone or influence somebody’s opinion or decision. It means to live in honesty, not to lie big or small and take ownership for your mistakes.  To live with integrity and do the right thing when no one is looking, and to keep your promises to yourself and others. These all sound very basic but are we doing them all the time? What do they truly mean? How do we know we are being our true self or a conditioned version of our self? What does that even mean? I am still unfolding the layers that surround me and I am continuously surprised by what I discover buried beneath. For the first time I am discovering what I stand for and have not only discovered my dreams, but I am on this journey down a path towards them.    

To be truthful you first must discover what the truth is and your true self. Who we become is most often related to and shaped by the experiences we encounter throughout life and through our interactions. Our traditions, values, and principles are closely influenced by those of our parents and other family members and friends, which are generally inherited at a young age. But these experiences can include both positive and negative ones and can have lasting imprints on our thoughts and behaviours to extents that we can be unaware of. All this exposure and influence starts us on a conditioned path, and that conditioning builds as time goes on. We have other influences such as the media and marketing tell us what is “right” or “wrong”, trying to convince us that there is something wrong with ourselves or that we need to change in order to be “normal” or to “fit in” and be like everyone else. If we do not have the latest electronics we are considered to be “old school” or “un-cool” but in reality if you look at other societies across the world or even across the country, these opinions change and can even be the opposite, which means none of it is true. Truth means that it does not change, whatever the circumstances it stays the same. For us to find our true self we need to look inwards to discover what is true and then just be that.

An everyday example that always comes back to me is how so many of us spend hours of our time and hundreds or thousands of dollars on making ourselves look our “best”, with the best hair, makeup, clothing and accessories.  So many people wont even leave their house until they have spent hours getting ready. We spend our time doing things we don’t even want to do or like to do only to impress others or influence their opinion, which in the end doesn’t even mean anything to most or goes unnoticed. What matters is that you are comfortable, you feel good, and you are happy. Do not worry about what others think because in truth all the opinions and fads are constantly changing making them untrue, and you will always be judged by someone for something. If you don’t like to wear makeup because it is unhealthy for your skin then that is your choice, wearing makeup does not make you more beautiful it only changes the way you look, therefore, you are not showing your true self. I’m not saying don’t wear makeup, if you feel more confident wearing it then wear it for yourself, so you feel good not for anyone else. Be aware and ask yourself “Why am I doing this? “Who am I doing this for?” All these things add money to our expenses and take time away from doing things that truly matter. At the same time, we are all struggling to save money, make more money, and find ways to save time and get more accomplished. If someone is going to judge you because your hair is not perfect or because you do not wear makeup, then ask yourself “is this someone that loves me for me?” “How does this person serve me positively in my life?” “Are they a true friend?”

Speaking truthfully is another example of satya. We all know this means to not tell lies but it also means to always tell the whole truth. It means to not exaggerate or twist a story to make it sound more interesting or bring on attention from others. It means to stand up for what you know is true and tell it how it is, be real in a constructive way. Now, it must all be in support of the first yama, ahimsa, not causing harm and be done through kindness and compassion. If someone you know does something that is not in align with your values or is not ethically responsible, then speak up. Be honest about it, tell them that you do not agree and why, speak your truth. For me I know in the past that I went along with something just because I didn’t want to be that person, that “one” different from the rest. I did not want to be apart of what was happening but also did not have the confidence to be myself and speak up. Why? Because I was scared.  Scared to be judged, to be on the other side, to be alone.

Sometimes what you say is not what the other person wants to hear, and they may feel that you are saying it to hurt them but truthfully it is protecting them or others. The words are not hateful or harmful, the hurt comes from within. They may not realize where the source of pain is coming from initially and immediately blame it on you. This initial reaction is because we are constantly looking for others approval and acceptance and when that is denied it hurts. But once they become aware of their inner truth then they will understand where that hurt comes from, and they will remember that time you told them differently and realize you were looking out for their best interest. The famous saying “if you do not have anything nice to say then don’t say nothing at all” is a great statement to live by in most situations, however, in some cases you will be harming yourself or allowing harm to be done to others if you do not speak up. There is a fine line between being truthful and harmful, to help you decide whether it is best to speak up or stay quiet ask yourself these questions “Is it true?”, Is it necessary?”, “Is it useful?”, and “Is it kind?”

Another form of being truthful is always doing your best in everything you do. I was taught as a young child to do things right the first time and it saves you time later. There has been may times throughout my life where I thought of taking the easy way and cutting corners to save me time in that moment or some effort, but my intuition always caught me and told me that it wasn’t the right thing to do and that I need to do my best. In the end when corners are cut it comes back in the future and then whatever it is you did or didn’t do has to be done over, it takes extra time in the end and can even cause harm to others or yourself. When you know you put in your best effort, the best you could with the knowledge, resources, and capabilities at that present time, then you will always feel good about your accomplishments and have no regrets. Be honest with yourself and ask, “Is this my best?”, “Did I put in my full effort?”, “Can I do better?”. It doesn’t mean that it is perfect every time, and you may be able to do better in the future. When you look back at your work and accomplishments you may see ways to improve them, but this means that you are growing and learning. If you put in your best effort at that time then you should have no regrets and should always be proud. And then be prouder that you are growing as you become aware of different ways to change or better something.

Being truthful to myself, having integrity to myself, is one of the hardest truths I’ve had facing. I am often guilty of putting others needs ahead of mine and continuously neglecting my own, as I am sure many of us do. As I mentioned earlier before last year I did not set any personal goals, at least nothing past a New Years resolution. I would tell myself that “I have to lose weight” or “be more active” and then tell myself “it can wait until tomorrow”, we all know what happens next. I would break promises to myself all the time, in fact I still do. But I’ve come to realize that the only person I am hurting is me. I’m the one that has to deal with the consequences later. I’m the one in control, and at first that realization feels like a smack in the face. I now tell myself daily not to cheat and to keep my word to myself. If I can’t keep a promise to my most important person, who am I to support others?

In discovering more of my truth, I have unraveled years of emotions and perceived opinions of who I was. I identified the true reasons for some of my instincts, behaviours, and hurt. I identified some tremendous fears that were shadowing almost all my decisions and were holding me back. Holding me back from growing as an individual, from blooming, from showing my true self, and most of all from following my dreams. It took years of discovery and built up courage to untangle these fears and I’ve had to face them head on numerous times. This is not an easy process, but it does become easier each time, each time I come out on the other side. In the past year and a half, my outlook and direction have completely changed, I like to call it a plot twist. Being yourself when surrounded by watching eyes, waiting to judge, takes bravery and courage. Showing off your true face to everyone, facing the fear that someone might see you, the embarrassment if something imperfect happens. Remember it happens to us all, we are all human and make mistakes. We are all the same just at a different stage in our experiences, lessons, and level of wisdom.  Once you realize the deeper meaning and find your truth you start to understand the little things that actually matter in time of turmoil, and you start to realize that we only do the other things because we were conditioned and convinced that we have to in order to be liked, or loved, or to be beautiful.

It takes time to find your inner truth and if you do not start looking you may never find it, the further away from it we get the more layers of conditioning from the outside world we are wrapped in and the harder it is to see. There are many ways that these layers can start to be peeled back and for me it was my desire to live a better life, to change to a better path, to be better than I was yesterday. Yoga became part of that path. Not only practicing the postures, but through meditation and applying the principles of the Yamas and Niyamas. That little voice in your head that is always telling you to do the “right” thing, your intuition is usually your inner truth shining through. The more you listen to it and practice applying your truth the easier it is to hear and decipher what is your inner self talking and what is the conditioning’s you perceive to be your truth. 

Until next time…

Namaste

“Our authentic self is our best self, and our best life develops from our truth”

– Christina Sanders